Ask the Career Counseling Expert: How Do I Tell an Employer I was Fired?

I was fired from my last job. I was the account rep for a major client. The client invited me to his home for dinner. I'm 35. He introduced me to his daughter, who at the time had just turned 18. We started a relationship. I'm not married; she's of age. When her father found out, he demanded that I be terminated or he'd close his account. So my boss fired me. The funny thing is, her mother did not mind! Employers, HR staff, recruiters, all ask me why I left my last job. When I say I was fired, that pretty much ends my candidacy. What should I do?

Here's a little secret: The person who is interviewing you may have been fired from a job, or may have a friend who was fired. It happens. The problem, unless you did something unbelievably objectionable, isn't what you did but how you deal with it.

To answer your question, this is what I would advise you to say. It is based on a three-point strategy: tell the truth, assume responsibility, and explain what you learned from the situation. So, next time you are asked, try this:

"First, I'm not married. My largest client invited me to his home. I met his daughter. We started going out. He did not know. When he found out, he demanded that I be fired. I was fired.

"Her father was upset because of the difference in our ages. And he felt that my behavior was unprofessional. To tell the truth, my heart got the better of my head. He was right and I deserved to be fired. That's what makes me a better employee. Because of this, my moral compass has been recalibrated and is permanently pointing due North."

And then, shut up. Less is more and you can talk yourself into a corner. If they ask how old she was, tell the truth and point out that she was of age. Then, and only then, should you mention that her mother was fine with the relationship. You don't want to do it sooner because you don't want it to sound like your dismissal was unjustified. It's a judgment call.

Thanks for writing.


If you have any questions you would like answered, send them to Bruce Hurwitz at Anonymity is guaranteed.
Bruce Hurwitz
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Bruce A. Hurwitz, Ph.D., the President and CEO of Hurwitz Strategic Staffing, Ltd., has been an executive recruiter since 2003. The author of A Hooker's Guide to Getting a Job: Parables from the Real World of Career Counseling and Executive Recruiting, he is a recognized authority on career counseling, recruitment, and employment issues, having been cited in over 425 articles, appearing in more than 225 publications, nationally and internationally, including The Wall Street Journal, USA Today and US News & World Report, as well as on such websites as AOL, CareerBuilder, Monster, The Ladders, and Yahoo! He is the host of Bruce Hurwitz Presents, a live call-in radio interview program. An Ambassador for the Manhattan Chamber of Commerce, he also hosts their weekly radio program, The Voice of Manhattan Business. He is an on-camera talent for and has been certified as an "Approved Career Expert" by

Hurwitz is an honors graduate of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem where he obtained his doctoral degree in International Relations (majoring in International Law). A passionate supporter of the military, the mission of Hurwitz Strategic Staffing is to promote the hiring of veterans of the US Armed Forces and Merchant Marines.